On Wednesday morning, CBS offered me 15 minutes to interview Liana Wallace, Evanston activist extraordinaire and Survivor contestant in Survivor's 41st season. Liana was axed from the show last week, but she captured hearts and minds with her authenticity and courage.
Survivor 41 was the most diverse season since the show began more than 20 years ago. That's because former Black and Brown Survivor contestants petitioned the show's producers for more anti-racist standards and more diverse casts and crews.
Since September 22, many Evanstonians had been sitting on the edge of their sofas rooting for Liana to win the grueling contest.
Though she didn't walk way with a million dollars, Liana reached millions of viewers with her performance and her emotional words at her last Tribal expressing her feelings about being a Black woman, and how that played out in "Survivor." (You can watch that moment here).
Now, Liana, an ETHS graduate whom I've known since she wrote and performed a poem (left) about Evanston's racist history at Dear Evanston's 5th Ward Festival way back in 2016, is back at Georgetown, where she's a Junior.
Since the 5th ward festival, Liana--along with a group of her ETHS peers--has been front and center in Evanston activism, leading anti-gun-violence protests, organizing a bus down to shut down the Dan Ryan, and most recently, founding the powerful group Evanston Fight for Black Lives (EFBL) in response to the murder of George Floyd.
Liana talked to me by phone between classes and I chose to focus less on the intricacies of the game, about which a lot has been written, and more on her personal experience.
Here's our conversation, edited for length.
DE: Did you have culture shock when you got back to the real world after being away on an island in Fiji for more than three weeks?
LW: Coming home definitely was a culture shock. But it was just fun to talk to my family and get re-acclimated and settled. I lost 17 pounds during the game, but I think I literally gained it all back eating Ponderosa–just finding some normalcy in terms of like, oh, now I can just eat food like normal!
DE: I know from the beautiful letter you wrote, Love Letter to Survivor, that you've been watching the show since you were two years old. When you found out you'd been chosen, you must've gone crazy!
LW: Oh my gosh. All I remember is getting the email and I'm like, Andre! Jordan! Do you see this! Read this! We were just jumping up and down.
DE: You were so busy in Evanston, right then, with Evanston Fight for Black Lives, organizing events and marches. It was such an intense time. How did you feel to leave that behind?
LW: It was a crazy period. You know, EFBL had just been founded, and it was around that time that I sent in the video to apply to Survivor–even applying for it was just weird. I didn't know that it would really happen.
And then, organizing work requires such a commitment, and in order for it to be sustainable, there's a certain amount of things that you have to make sure you do, so I was really weighing that in terms of going.
I had to take a step back from my front and center role within the organization and, thank God for the amazing other organizers I was working with that really continued to do the work when I was gone. But it was definitely a huge choice, a balancing act to juggle all of these things.
But this work [antiracist activism] is lifelong, and, as I said in my speech, I bring it with me everywhere. I think that's the beauty of organizing – there's moments where you have the natural emotional capacity to step forward, and then there are those moments where you have to step back.
DE: Your speech turned out to be at your final Tribal Council. It was so powerful. In and of itself--it was activism. Had you planned it? Or was it spontaneous?
LW: I did not plan it at all. I didn't go in planning for any of that to come up. DeShawn was having a moment and talking about it, and when Jeff asked me to question it, you know, it was a mixture of not really being able to articulate what it was that I, as a Black player, was experiencing, and why Shan’s vote was so detrimental, and what I was feeling about that.
I wanted to be supportive of this Black man, but also, I'm feeling this disconnect as well, in terms of the decision that he made in the game. How do I do this in front of a majority white audience that is Survivor's audience? All that's going through my mind, Jeff is asking me this question, and so, I just was like, you know, this is my time.
I explained where I was coming from and what was on my mind. Watching it now, I'm like, Jeez, how did that just come out? Being so hungry and tired and you're on this final Tribal Council and there's so much going on. But then again, all the things I did in high school with SOAR [Students Organized Against Racism] and everything else, it is so much a part of who I am. I was saying I am a Black woman and that doesn't leave me. So, in that moment, I was like, okay, this is the time to articulate what I'm feeling. It just happened that way. I just felt like it was the right time to talk about it.
DE: In a way, what you said took all the work that you do--and have done--in Evanston and put it in front of millions of people. Those moments can go a long way to change culture, to change minds.
Just like the way Jeff committed, after the petition, to making Survivor more inclusive and to reflect America. He was following the changing times, and also leading the change.
LW: Absolutely. Every day I was out there, I meditated and tried to pray, and I really feel like, in that moment, I felt a greater power and force around me. I felt my family around me. I felt all the people that I love around me. And I think that allowed me – even being super hungry, in this, intense Tribal Council, to really speak to that. I'm super grateful for Jeff and super grateful to all be able to watch that moment back with me and to experience it, and for the producers and editors to have done the amazing job they did to tell my story.
DE: What did you learn about yourself playing the game?
LW: I think the biggest thing I learned is to trust in who you are, to trust yourself. I think coming into the game, I was kind of a pessimist. I didn't always necessarily believe in myself or the power I had. Being able to play this game and being able to be tested, mentally, emotionally, physically, in my rawest form–I was able to really see myself, see who I am when I'm facing the most challenging times.
I think being able to see that person reminds me of all the people that love me and give me the fuel to continue pursuing things and making changes in areas that require attention and care. Having that experience, facing all those different challenges, and just being able to sit with myself in those moments transformed me. To have just a general sense of trust and confidence, I think is huge.
DE: What were you most afraid of when you got the letter, and knew it was real? Did it come to pass?
LW: I'm super close to my family, so I was most afraid of making a decision in the game, that I wouldn't have that ability to talk about what I'm thinking through with them. I talk about things with people I trust. And so I was just terrified of, I'm going to be faced with these really hard decisions and I'm not going to be able to talk to anybody about it. How do I deal with that?
That's why I learned so much about being able to trust myself and be confident in that. Because I think especially Black women, in a lot of the classrooms and spaces I'm in, it's always like, you have to be right 100% of the time or else people question why you're there. So it was this huge new spot for me of, you have to trust it and go for it. For me, that was a huge change and something I was scared of.
I feel so much stronger because of that.
DE: Do you have any regrets from the game?
LW: I would definitely say no, because literally, you're signing up for the most vulnerable position, having your entire game be seen by millions of viewers. But you know, I wouldn't change anything that I did, because I learned so much about how to play Survivor and so much about myself. I would never have had those realizations if I hadn't played it the way that I played it, right? It was all raw. It was all me. And it allowed me to learn so much that I'm carrying with me now and that I’ll carry with me forever.
DE: We've talked about you as a Black woman on the show. You’re also Jewish and you mentioned that being Jewish with other Jewish players also meant a lot to you. How did that play out for you?
LW: Oh, my gosh, yeah. Sydney, Tiffany, and Evvie were also Jewish, and it was awesome. We mainly talked about different Jewish foods that we really wanted to eat. I think it would have been cool for those moments to air, but there's just so much jam-packed into the season that it was tough. But that aspect was super cool to connect on and have people in my tribe all identifying similarly in that way.
DE: Would, would you ever play Survivor again, if you had the chance?
LW: I know it sounds crazy, but, yes. So many of the things that I learned from this round would play out differently the next time because I learned so so much.
DE: Is there anything else you want to talk about?
LW: I would just say I want to thank ETHS, the Evanston community, and my friends, my family, people that have organized with me, for everything they have done and are doing to give me courage and strength. To know that the place I come from was one place with love and constant learning. I appreciate all the community for pouring into me, to allow me to have this experience, and to make everybody at home proud while doing it. So I'm incredibly thankful.
DE: Thanks Liana, for taking the time to chat. See you in Evanston!
Thanks to Elizabeth Solomon Hubbard for contributing questions to this interview.
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